Here I am again attempting to pour out the thoughts on my mind out in to this page. I try to summarize my experiences and yet arrange them in a way that the reader would be able to relate, see and feel what I felt.  I have come a long way since the day I was birthed, to my first cries, to my first attempts at walking and falling, to my first words, to my first real sentences to my first day at school to my first real decision. _
There is much to my first real decision, it started out the day I was dropped at pre-school my parents had done a good job pre-educating me especially my father. I remember not crying as I ran like a dog off its lease to join the other children on the playground, I still imagine how my parents would have felt leaving their only son who had always being under their protection to his first real social event. I remember being ushered into the class-room with other children, then came the time for activities where we had to practice our writing, my mother had taught me how to try to write some basic letters, numbers and to draw some shapes, so picking up the pen shouldn’t have being a problem for me as I looked around the classroom expecting other children to be amazed as with what to do with their pencils. Minutes passed and other children had picked up their pencils with their right hand and I was still there trying to decide which hand to use, I tried right but as with the pre-lessons with my mum the pencil didn’t fit well in my right hand, I tried my left but every other kid was using their right so I dropped my pencil again, until I eventually decided to pick up the pen with my left hand. It felt right in my hand in my left hand…. get the joke RIGHT in my LEFT, it probably wasn’t funny but that was a significant day in my life though I don’t remember the date.  My father found out from my teacher later that day that his son was a “LEFTIE”, I am really grateful for the kind of parents I have who always supported me and never tried to change who I was. Over the years I made other choices which may seem insignificant but as I learnt from my years of comic and cartoon watching there must might be an alternate universe where you made a different choice and your life got totally altered by it. I have made seemingly insignificant decisions which if made differently, my life might have turned out differently such as choosing where to seat, what haircut to barb, in secondary school what room to go or what bed-space to choose, what friends to move with, the decision whether to be a day student or to be a boarder. the decision to go to science class which brings me to the main reason for this post, the decision to divert myself from wanting to be an Astronaut or a Scientist to wanting to be a Physician.
Growing up I had always been fascinated by science, I watched the expeditions to space, movies about space, documentaries about space and documentaries about future technologies. I remember being fascinated by them and me wanting to be one of the contributors of the future so I dedicated myself to wanting to be a scientist, I never was any good at the biology aspects of integrated science. my parents contemplated making me go to the commercial class in my senior secondary school days or the arts class since i used most of my  class-notes to draw. I eventually chose to go to the science class, I lagged behind for most of the first term till I changed my seating position to my crush from the high school days by name Ajogbeje Opeyemi. it was during this time I actually started to pick up in my studies as I got serious, started making an effort to listen in class, she was an exceptionally brilliant girl she always came top of the class right from our junior days. The second and third exams came and there were improvements in my grade. Time went on my crush became my rival as I always told myself I had to be better than her, it got so bad o eventually started taking out my frustrations at not being good enough on her emotionally. I would always try to make her feel less of herself but she always conquered me by telling me simply “you have issues”. I eventually grew out of the jealousy and tried to understand why she always came out tops and applied that method and I made the honors roll that year. It was joyful as I felt actually that I stood a chance to beating Opeyemi academically. My five minutes of glory came when I eventually passed her in one biology exam by half a mark that was my high point that half mark felt like a thousand. I eventually believed that if she could do it so could I, career picking time came and having lost hope in being an Astronaut or an Astronautic engineer as i was no good at maths, my biology teacher called me and asked me , have you ever considered being a doctor?. Then I also thought to myself you have to have Ope’s brain to want to be a doctor, but at that period if felt if Ope could do it so could I. I started liking trips to the hospital as I got to see the doctors do their things, I started to research and read stories about doctors. I applied to a medical programme at the University of Ibadan as my first choice and Bowen University as my second choice, I never made it to medicine but i had a choice wait an extra year or just do the course you were given by Bowen University. I chose to study Zoology at Bowen University, still admiring medicine from afar. I still kept that ambition but I didn’t believe I could do it again.
In my final year in university, an event occurred that changed my resolve, I lost my father to Congestive Heart Failure. As I watched my father struggle for life in his last minutes, through going to shock as his cardiac muscles weren’t getting as much oxygen as they should have to the doctors trying to save his life. I remember the doctor coming to my mother and I to tell us that the tried their best but the damage was already done, at that moment as I thanked the doctor for his help with my eyes reddening I made a promise to myself to be like this doctor who tried his best to help, I also realized that as a doctor you lose lives a lot but you being able to help them and give them that care through their last moments is what gives you the strength to carry on. I decided to rekindle my medical fire but with a little more resolve, not because i was in competition with anybody but because i actually want to do some good, help people.
As I end this post I ask myself if I had  made the right decision, or if I have been making a lot of wrong decisions that led me to where i am now, but as my father would always tell me “we live by the choices me make”. I made this choice now its time to live by it, as i wait on my admission a second time i finally feel that i am ready to embark on this journey……
 

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